Clothing Sizes: A Federal Coverup

While shopping this evening, I came to the unsettling conclusion that my inability to find anything that fit and was remotely stylish is nothing short of a government conspiracy. Our government has decided to depress people into buying all of the low-carb, low-fat, no-fat, no taste, "healthy" food that is now on the market. The plot: no clothing sizes over a 12 will be created, and the clothing items marked "X-Large" have the number 15 next to them (since when is 15 extra large???). In this way, women of my constitution are made to feel as if they are the abnormal ones. These depressed women will then, in a vain attempt to fit into those x-large size 15's will go out and spend money on whatever the "it" diet is.
Well, I have news for the government: I refuse to comply with their coy plot. I refuse to become depressed because I can find nothing my size that I like. I refuse to jump on the latest diet bandwagon. In fact, just to show my defiance, I am now going to get a bowl of fat-full, carb-loaded, sugar-laden rocky road ice cream. Isn't life sweet?